To pregnant mommy: Mommy, If there was a fat person contest you would win! Yay!

Billy, 5

Michele: Mommy, can you get up?
Mommy: No, my foot is asleep, give me a minute.
Michele: (takes music box and puts it to my foot) Is it awake yet?

(On seeing Princess Giselle enter the ball in a sleek purple ball gown and hair flowing over her shoulders)

Wow, mom, she looks just like you! Well, except you wear flip flops more often.

Logan, 10

I love you more than 1,000 centuries, more than anybody or anything like a bunny or something bigger than the whole world including China.

Daphne, 5

Mommy, I am so mad at you that I am going to be mad at you TOMORROW!!!!

Lexie, 4

I just want to do what I want, when I want, but my mom won’t let me.

Boston, 4

Mommy, are you sure you remember how to make a baby?

Terrel, 4

Mom, your boobies are flip-flappy — they go like this.

Ian, 3

(shaking head from side to side)

It’s nice you are cool, mom… I appreciate it.

Hugo, 5

You’re the worst Mummy we’ve EVER had!!

Ben, 5