Mom, I love you from the earth to the moon, then back and then back to the moon, and then around the moon, and then back to the earth and then around the earth too!

Madison, 6

Mom, can I have a go-gurt? I love go-gurt! But I’m still gonna marry a pickle jar when I get older!

Madison, 6

I love you, mom. Thank you for having me… and keeping me. Thank you for not putting me for adoption.

MOM! Do you realize that after I practice, AND do my homework, that only leaves me THREE free hours of my own before I have to go to bed???!!!

Justin, 16

Mom, either you let me eat candy for breakfast, or I hit you with this stick!

Justin, 5

Justin: “ARE YOU CRAZY??!!”

Cortnye, “No she’’s not Justin, but she will be!”

(After finding out Mom is pregnant and last year’s little surprise is only 3 months old.)

Look Mom — my penis is like a volcano. I push it down; it rises up.

Ian, 3