To Mom about Political sign, “Mom what is that?”
Mom to Sam, “That is a Green Party sign.”
Sam, “Can we go?”

Mommy, you have a big bum! It’s not little like mine…

Ethan, 2

Sammie: Whats in the box mum?
Mum (Whispers): Uncle George.
Sammie: Well what’s he doing in there! I always knew he was a loony!

(Said during the minute of silence at Uncle George’s funeral service)

There’s a yellow S.O.B.

Erin, 3

(pointing at a yellow S.U.V. as we are driving through a parking lot.)

Alix: “Mom, did you hear the hearth quake last night? There was a rumbling…”
Hugo: “Yeah…that was my stomach!!”

Hugo, 6

To another child at preschool: “You’re fat like a cow!”
The teacher explains to her that she can’t call people that.
5 minutes later to the same child: “You’re not thin like yarn!”

Evelyn, 4

Mommy, do you ever feel like you want to just rip somebody’s head off?

Daphne, 6

I’m going to go on a super secret spy mission, plus tax.

Logan, 10

When I have a megaphone, things will be different.

Daphne, 6

(Choosing a cheerleader costume for Halloween)

I don’t understand a word you’re saying (about his math homework) and how does this doohickey (his pencil) work?

Dylan, 8