Scott: Titus, go wash your hands.

Titus: Why?

Scott: Because you were just at church and you need to wash them.

Max: Yeah…church people are dirty!

Max, 5

Jesus got hammered!!

Willie, 3

(Upon being asked what he had learned after the pastor at his parochial preschool gave the class a talk about the meaning of Easter.)

“What? We are gothic, aren’t we?”

“No dear, we”re Catholic!”

Maggie, 3

(Mom questions why are you wearing all black?)

Lord, heal the sick!!!

Matthew, 4

(said when riding without training wheels, and got going a little too fast)