Daddy, aren’t you glad you had at least one daughter to help you with all your problems?

Daphne, 6

Mommy, you don’t have to drink coffee today because I slept!!

Isley, 3

Dad: Logan, how are those new shoes working out?

Logan: They’re working out fine, Dad. Now please stop asking so many times. It’s creepy.

Logan, 10

[Editor's note: "Red card!"]

Let me tell you a story that I don’t know anything about.

Avery, 5

(While Mom was busy typing an email.)

Simon:  Look Mom!  I’m all stickerd-ly (torso covered in stickers).  I’m a superhero.
Mom:  Wow!  What’s your superpower?
Simon:  When people won’t stop talking, I fly there and put a sticker over their lips.
Mom:  That might be the best superpower there ever was.

Simon, 3

Right hand (talking to left hand): You going to fly now?

Left hand: No. I no fly. I no have wings.

Mom: You can’t fly because you don’t have wings. That’s true, baby.

Henry: Shhh. My hands are talking to each other.

Henry, 2.5

Bad is not good

Liam, 6

Mommy, my tummy really really hurts.  I think video games would make it feel a lot better.

“Why is there a sprinkler on and no one is playing in it?”

Kenzie, 6

Mom, is it okay to lie to yourself?

Daphne, 6