Why mommy? Is it not Christmas yet?

Dylan, 3

(when told she couldn’t hang an old car-freshener tree in her bathroom)

Help me mommy, help me! I’m leaking!

Miss Pandi, 3

(Response to trying to “wipe” herself after using the potty.)

Ashlyn:  Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!
Me: I am trying to talk to daddy.
Ashlyn: Well, I am trying to talk to YOU!

Ashlyn, 3

Scott: Titus, go wash your hands.

Titus: Why?

Scott: Because you were just at church and you need to wash them.

Max: Yeah…church people are dirty!

Max, 5

Daddy, aren’t you glad you had at least one daughter to help you with all your problems?

Daphne, 6

Mommy, you don’t have to drink coffee today because I slept!!

Isley, 3

It was a hot summer evening, and the tornado sirens had gone off. I shouted for all of us to get down to the basement fast, a tornado might be coming. We all huddled together in the basement, and after some silence, Gabriel asked, “Is he here yet?”

“Who?” we wondered.

“The Giant Tomato.”

Gabriel, 4